Oh, you know they exist. There’s at least one of them in your life right now, and it may even be your family member! Whoever they are, toxic people aren’t merely a pain in the ass. They’re actually more like parasites; slowly, maybe unconsciously, but surely infiltrating your life and sucking all the good out of it. Unfortunately, they also have an uncanny ability to turn you into one of them! Now, before that happens but more importantly to live a happy, healthy, toxic-free life, learn how to get rid of them!
Identify & Acknowledge the Source of Toxicity
You can’t solve a problem till you know what’s the problem. So the first step is to figure out and acknowledge the toxic person for who he/she is. It may be difficult to label someone especially close to you as “toxic”, but unless you want to become toxic as well, you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.
Make A Conscious Decision to Do Something About It
Next up, taking action. Your actions can range from something as simple as blocking/removing them from your social media to cutting them out completely out of your life. It all depends on how much interaction you have with them, and whether you will still need to cross paths. If they’re just spewing negativity on Facebook, remove them. If it’s a co-worker, your boss, or a family member, it’s a little complicated as you need to maintain some sort of cordial relationship. But don’t worry, read on to find out what you can do.
Set Up & Maintain Boundaries
In other words, voice out. It’s not always worth it to get into an argument with toxic people as they never listen, but you’ve got to stand up for yourself. A lot of different scenarios can play out, but this is very basically learning how to say “no”. Toxic people love to play the role of the victim and manipulate you into feeling guilty and then “helping” them. All you’ve got to do is to be aware of this trap and not fall into it. For some reason, there’s always a crisis for them. It’s not your job to always help them out of it, so be firm on where you stand.
Be Prepared for Resistance
*cue covering your ears* Toxic people are the best drama queens, y’know? Honestly, it’s a shame they’re not an actor/actress and/or scriptwriters for drama series. They’d totally ace it. When you deny them, they will most likely throw a tantrum, and tunnel deeper into their victim role. It’s perfectly normal, but remember to not give in at this stage, or else all your prior efforts will be wasted.
Don’t React Emotionally, Focus on the Solution
Toxic people are master manipulators, and they know exactly how to trigger your emotions. Let them say whatever they want to say and allow them to blow up the situation if they want, but you keep your focus on the solution. Granted, the solution they are looking for will be the one that benefits them the most, but that doesn’t mean you have to be part of it. The best thing you can do is to state solutions calmly, and leave it at that.
Accept Them for Who They Are
We’re not saying lie down and let them trample all over you, oh no. We’re telling you to not expect them to change. It’s great to believe in the best of people, but toxic spots are harder to wash off, and it’s safe to say they will never change. If they ever do one day, we can talk about it then. Otherwise, you do what you have to do, and minimise your interactions with them. Gentle reminder again that it’s not your job to save them!
Surround Yourself with Positivity
We’re sure you’ve experienced first-hand the effects of just being in a happy, uplifting environment, so make some time and effort to do just that. Spend time with people who are encouraging and happy, and remember to do something that you love once in a while to create these positive vibes. Positive energy will only attract more positive energy, and that’s the way to go!
Forgive But Don’t Forget
Whether you’re still in touch with them, or that you’ve cut them out of your life permanently, forgive them. There’s no point holding on to their wrongdoings; it only makes you suffer more. Let go and move on with your (now more positive) life, for there’s so much more in life to experience! Just be careful if they ever decide to “drop by” again, so you don’t get pulled back into their web.