This year’s Valentine’s Day has just passed, which means we’ve just witnessed the success stories of people that somehow managed to survive the first date and proceeded to more dates that led to the development of a meaningful relationship.
The possibility of a relationship begins with the first date which makes it an absolute minefield to navigate. This is where you check for chemistry and whether you can have a decent conversation with each other. This is where you get a feel of who the person is and whether he or she is someone you want to see again. There is a lot hanging on this first meeting which means a lot can go wrong too – and if it goes too wrong, the chance of a second date goes out the window. Here are some first date stories that might help illustrate what not to do if you want to secure a second date.
Note: The stories are edited for clarity and no real names were used.
1. The (Pop) Culturally Ignorant
Of course, being clueless or confused about pop culture isn’t the worst thing in a person. However, there is some level of importance to it because it speaks of the similarities and experiences that we share with the other person. For example, having greatly opposing musical tastes might be a deal breaker for some. Or in this case, not knowing the difference between two of the biggest movie franchise in the world.
“Does going on a date with a girl who thinks Star Wars is the one with Wolverine counts? Here is a bit more background of the story – we saw a band playing the Star Wars theme song, and when I highlighted that I love the movie, she said that she also loves the movie because Wolverine was in it. Other than this, the date went well but I did not contact her after that day.” – Jay
2. The Catfisher
This is one of the many pitfalls of online dating –photo editing apps, clever angling of the camera, excellent makeup skills – these could affect how the person turns out in the pictures they share on their profiles. But when you meet them in real life, they might not look like how you think.
“I think the worst would be the person I met who was quite different from the picture of the person I’ve been talking to? I wouldn’t say I was catfished but Insta-filter and photoshop really is powerful. But in my case still recognizable, just very different.” – Julius
“There was one girl I met for the first time. She uber catfished me, totally different person in real life. She edited her photos so much that she even appeared on a Malaysian’s hottest babe post in some Facebook group. But in reality, she is 720 degrees different. In her pictures, she looked curvy, but she was really petite in real life. Her face was so different to the point I really cannot describe.” – Simon
3. The Salesperson
This is the kind of first date that will never make it to the second. Period. No one likes to be on the receiving end of this, where we find out that the reason this person is even talking to us is because they want to sell us something. If they are good at what they do, they might cop a sale but definitely not a second date.
“We started talking after matching on a dating app. He very quickly asked to meet up which I agreed to because I’m not the type to hesitate. It’s always easier to get to know someone face to face anyway. He asked to meet at the food court in Mid Valley… which meant that we were paying for our own food. That was fine but when we sat down to eat, he started telling me about investment opportunities. I quickly ate my food and made an excuse to leave. I’m so glad I drove myself there or I would have to listen to more of it.” – Nicole
4. The Revenge Date
There are some strange people out there and if you are on dating apps often enough, you might come across a few. Unfortunately, you wouldn’t know until it’s too late. You see, there are people who wants to make their partner jealous or get back at their partner for something they did by meeting people on the dating app. If you are unfortunate enough to get caught in the crossfire, you might get burned. Good news for this person, he managed to leave unharmed.
“I swiped right on this girl, and we started chatting. After a few days of talking to each other where she told me she had just ended her relationship, I asked her out on a date. Everything went well and after dinner, I was going to drop her back home. The chemistry was strong between us, and she suggested that we park at a quiet road that she knew about where we can make out. When I drove into the road, I realised it’s a dead-end road. We were busy kissing when suddenly another car drove into the road. The car stopped a few distance from us but kept its lights on. She wanted to keep on going but I was too freaked out to continue. I wanted to wait until the car left. After what felt like a very long time, the car finally moved but it had to do a turn to go back out. It drove all the way past my car before it made its turn. I saw that there was a guy inside, but I didn’t think too much. After the car left, the girl I was with broke down and told me that it was her ex-boyfriend that was in the car. And he knew where she was because she told him about it to make him jealous. I quickly sent her back home and never contacted her after. I’m just glad I got out alive.” – Richard
5. The Red Flags
If you are new to dating apps, there are some things in a profile that could signify problems. Sadly, for these people, they had to learn about it the hard way. Hopefully, this becomes a learning lesson to all of you who are on dating apps. One key lesson is to always be wary of people who do not put their real age on their dating app profile. It just doesn’t build a lot of trust if you lie about the most basic part of your identity.
“I was 26 years old at that time when I was on a dating app. I remember that I set the age range between 25 to 35 years old. So, when I started talking to this guy whose profile wrote that he is 35, I didn’t think too much. We went on our first date, and I guess, credits to him because he told me the moment I sat in his car. He confessed that he is actually 40. I asked him why he lied about his age, and he told me that it’s because the pool of women is bigger when the age of the man is younger. Women don’t want to date men that are too old which sounded reasonable because that’s what I was doing too. We went to a café where we ate and talked. This is where it started to get weird. He casually brought up a story of his friend who recently got a free meal from McDonald’s by making lots of complaints on their Facebook page. The complain was that the burger he ordered did not look like the one in the poster. By this point, I was facepalming in my mind and trying not to look too disturbed. But this is not even the highlight. He went on to tell me that he was the one who helped his friend take the picture of him holding the burger against the poster for size comparison! Like he was proud of it. Not only that, but this friend does it all the time – he would write complaints on various fast-food restaurants to try and get a free meal out of it. There was no second date. He wasn’t a bad person, but I just felt that our viewpoints wouldn’t match if he supports that kind of behavior.” – Sarah
“Long story ahead, please be patient. It started with matching with a guy on Tinder who only had a black and white photo on his profile. Even the picture did not show his face clearly. That was the first red flag I ignored. After matching, he asked me out for lunch and to accompany him to buy a portable seat massager. He was the first person to ask me out since I got on the app, so I agreed. We exchanged numbers and I immediately received a phone call from him. When I picked up, he told me that he was calling to make sure I was a girl. Red flag #2. He hung up and then called again because he forgot to tell me that he is actually 40 years old and not whatever age he put on the profile. Red flag #3. By then, I felt it was too rude to back out of meeting him. He came to pick me up and I was very surprised because he looked much older than his picture; almost unrecognisable. I would find out later that the picture he used was taken when he was 20 years old. Red flag #4. We went to a nearby shopping mall where we proceeded to eat lunch at McDonalds. He shared his life stories which were interesting but if only I knew, what was ahead of me.
After lunch, we went to find the massager. It turned out that I was supposed to play the role of reluctant girlfriend and he would use me to get discounts or a lower price. Super huge red flag! At each shop that we went to, he would turn to me and ask for my opinion on the massager. No offence to sugar babies, but I can tell that all the salespeople thought I was his sugar baby. I’m supposed to pretend that I don’t like the massager in hopes that the salesperson would be more persuasive. I was to say that I like the other brand better and that they were cheaper. He would also try to negotiate the price by asking if he can get further discounts or free items if he paid full in cash. He would make a fuss if the salesperson say that they can’t do that for him. After a torturous amount of time going from shop to shop, he finally decided on the massager he wants. At one point, I went to the toilet and fully contemplated if I should just leave. But no, I stuck it out till the end where he finally got what he was looking for. After he paid, I gave some excuse about an emergency and booked it out of there. It was an experience that I never want to repeat again.” – Janice
Well, I hope these stories provided some insight and caution on your next first date. Happy belated Valentine’s Day!
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